• Vocab All Stars!!! 

    UNIT 2
    Period 1

    Ryan N’s Story

    Part 1 of The Ongoing Saga of Lorenzo:  The Sarcastic Midget Bereft of Appendages


    “Please enter,” announced the lone figure behind the desk.  Lorenzo warily entered the room on his Hoverround™ powerchair.  Lorenzo could clearly see the surprise on the man’s face. 

    Trying to be as amicable as possible, the man spoke:  “So, you are applying for the job position of…,” the man paused as he glanced at Lorenzo’s stubs (where arms and legs usually go), “construction worker.”

    “Well, I am here, aren’t I?” barked Lorenzo.

    “Yes, you are,” replied the man, more annoyed at this point.

    “May I ask what your impetus was for applying?” the man now said.

    “It was my life’s dream to build things.  What better to work in then construction?”

    “Well, I definitely extol you for showing up today, but do you think you are really qualified for the job?”  the man said cautiously.

    Lorenzo grimaced.  “Now what is that supposed to mean?”
                “Let me reiterate,” the man said calmly.  Then suddenly losing his temper:  “You have no arms or legs!  How are you supposed to be a construction worker!?”

    Lorenzo, now insulted, spoke:  “I believed I have shown great fortitude in applying here.  It’s a shame others don’t feel the same way.”

    With that, Lorenzo stalked off.  Or at least he silently drove out in angry fashion.


    Justin H’s story:


                Today was my big break, my bid day, the opening to my successful career.  I had to get dressed up, I needed them to extol me.  I put on my best looking tuxedo and was prepared to drive down the street.  I hopped in my car and [carefully] drove down the street.  The drive seemed like a lifetime.  I knew this was feasible.  I had finally arrived.  I got out of my car with much fortitude and I walked inside.  I walked up to the lady at the front desk.

                “Welcome to McDonald’s.  May I take your order?” she said.

                “Oh, no.  I am here for the job interview,”  I replied.

                “Please go in that back room and wait for the manager.”  She gave me a grimace behind my back.  It took a while, but the manager finally arrived.

                “Okay, so for your first questions, have you had any past jobs?”  he asked amicably.

                “Yes, I was an investment banker in New York for a number of years,” I replied.

                “What?”  he said while gaping.

                “An investment banker,” I reiterated.  “Is there a problem?”

                “No, of course not!  You have the job!” he exclaimed.

                “Awesome!” I cried.  [very typical investment banker language…J]

                I skipped out of the room like I was a little kid because I have started my new career.


    Sasha M’s Story:


                Nicholas A. Douglass (Nick for short) stood tentatively in front of the publishing building.  If his interview went well, he’d be an author, and his story could be told.  He was glad that his fiancé, if not in body, could still help him, her story an impetus to keep going.

                He pushed the doors open, grimacing slightly.

                “Can I help you?” a secretary asked.

                “I’m looking for a Mr. DiPorito,” he answered.

                “Excuse me?” she asked.  He reiterated his response.

                “Right this way, sir,” she informed.

                The room was dark upon entry.  A voice called out, “Yes?”

                “Um, I’m here for the, uh, interview, sir,” he managed to get out.

                “Well?  Tell me about yourself,” Mr. DiPorito ordered.

                “Um, well, you see,” Nick began, “I’m a veteran of war, and my book is a way to tell my –“

                “He was interrupted.  “Yes, yes.  Summarize your book.”

                Nick’s thought was thick with unshed tears as he began:

                “Jessica!” Nick called out.  He looked to his beautiful, blond haired, blue eyes fiancé.  Both were 23, both were ready to pledge their lives to each other.  The holocaust going on around them couldn’t affect their love for one another.

                She turned to him, her waist length curls laughing in the breeze.  They were on a picnic, their wedding a week away.  They couldn’t wait.

                In the distance, a gun shot went off.  Nick was taken with horror.  Not here.  Not now!
                Another shot went off, and two soldiers from the other side of the war stepped into the field.  Time slowed as Nick saw Jessica, the quintessence of his very soul, fall, death a short while away.  The bullet had pierced her chest, right after the heart. 

                Nick was furious and overcome with sadness at the same time.  With fortitude in his heart, he managed to disarm the men and bind them to a tree.

                But for Jessica?  There was no hope.

                To say things got awkward would be an understatement.  Mr. DiPorito was an amicable guy, but he didn’t know what to say.  He extolled the story and he sent Nick on his way.  The job was Nick’s.



    Ray C’s Story


    Sam walked into the office with an amicable air around him.  He shook the boss’s hand and immediately began extolling his outfit.  “Your shoes are wonderful!  Because they are so wonderful I will reiterate!  They are wonderful!”

                The boss’ expression hadn’t changed from the grimace it was in.  He had had one too many of these interviews with overenthusiastic young folks.  He maintained his fortitude and refused to give Sam a chance.  However, that wasn’t about to stop Sam.  He wanted to be the impetus that got the store moving again.  After three hours, much senseless talking, and four Aspirin, the boss finally gave up and gave Sam the job.  He was ecstatic.



    Alex H’s story:


    So here I am, walking into the Target, preparing myself for a job interview.  I was planning to extol my teamwork, leadership skills, and good history with other jobs.  Suddenly a glint on an employee’s shirt caught my eye.  It was a manager pin.  I went over to introduce myself, when I saw who it was.  It was Billy-Bob, the worst bully in school.  I quickly ran out the door before he saw me.  But I needed that job!  I steeled myself and prayed I had enough fortitude to make it through this interview.  I walked back in.  I walked back out.  “I can’t do this,” the scared part of me said.  Then the brave part of me slapped the scared part and said, “We must.”  So I grimaced, walked right up to Billy-Bob, and asked for a job.  To my surprise, he was very amicable.  But that wasn’t enough of an impetus to make me want to work under him.  So I improvised.  The interview went a little like this:

                “So, what are some of your hobbies?”

                “I collect ointment.  I have a set of silverware to match the plate in my head.”

                “Okay…what can you bring to our company?”

                “Pink eye, the bird flu.”

                “…Where do you see yourself in the next five years?”

                “Back in rehab.  Yeee-haaw!”


                I didn’t leave then but I reiterated everything I said.  Eventually, security “escorted” me out.  And that, dear children, is how I didn’t work at Target.

    Period 5
    Hannah G's Story 

    My mother was the impetus for this; it was all her fault.  If she hadn’t been so averse to me staying in my cozy little cheap apartment any longer, I never would have done it.  What did I do you ask?  I applied for the head position at the local pharmacy.  There was no feasible way that I could get the job.  They would not even have to scrutinize my resume to realize its many faults.  Then, even the most amicable interviewer, I would fail.  I am not adroit at anything; I have no talent nor calling.

                Breathing deeply, I pushed open the door to go to this dreaded “interview.”  I would just have to show great fortitude and hope I could get through this with dignity!  On the other side of the door was a room, no a palace filled with opulent wonders.  At the far end, was a table overflowing with papers.  On the other side of this document-filled table were five men and women sitting glaring at me as if I were a rodent at their feet.

    “We understand that you want the job of head of the Malvern section of our pharmacy?”  One asked, her tone dripping with disdain.  Why were they so averse to me getting the job?

    “Y-yes,” I stammered, licking my suddenly dry lips.

    “Even though you told your mother you were the quintessence of failure and it would be shear ludicrousness to hire you?”  Another asked.  What duplicity!  My own mother betraying me?!  They had just quoted my talk with my mother yesterday, verbatim!

    “I-…”  I started.

    “Thanks you, you may leave now,” A man in a tuxedo said sternly, listing up a paper and seeming to scrutinize it.

     “But I haven’t even…” I tried again to form a complete sentence, “This isn’t fair!”

     “Oh, you have the job, Mr. Murrey.  You were the only applicant.  Please leave and report to work on Monday,” the man informed me without so much as a glance in my direction.

    And so, I walked out of the strangest and quickest interview of my life.


    Katie M's Story 

                Hello, my name is Joe Billy Stanton, and I am here to apply for a job at this fine facility.  To avoid you having to scrutinize me, let me tell you a little about myself.

                I was born in Frankfurt, Kentucky, born and raised with pigs and donkeys.  I’ve got 13 brothers and sisters, all names starting with J.  My home on the farm was very pleasant, except for one thing, my mother.  My mother’s name was Suzie B, and she, my kind sir, was not the most amicable woman alive.  Yes, she did have 14 children, including me, raising us by her lonesome self, [which seems like she's got lots of fortitude,] but that was normal in Kentucky.  Anyway, when my mother bought the farm, the salesman was very duplicitous.  Being the uneducated woman my poor mother was, she did not listen to the fact that there was an oil spill back in 1902 and nothing has grown there in over 38 years, so she bought the farm for $18,731.  Life was good, but very hard work for us, and we needed money.  I was 27 living at home, so my mother kicked me out, I can still remember it clearly, being that it was last week, 9 days ago to be exact.  My mother served as an impetus for me to go out and get a job.  Since I only have the education of an 8th grader, I did not think it was very feasible, and that is why I am here today.  So please sir, if you give me the job I will be the best gosh darn employee you ever had!

                “You got the job.”

                Hot dig-a-dee dog!  I did?  Thank you sir, thank you, thank you, thank you!  Oh, you want me to try on the chicken suit now?  Of course I can cluck like a chicken and say ‘Buy Chet’s Chickens!’  Now I just have one question, how do you put on the head?

    Chris S's Story 

                Today was the day.  Today I had the most important job interview of my life.  I would love to be an accountant of Sullivan’s Banks and Trust!  The paychecks are big, and the job would be very feasible for me considering how adroit I was with calculations.  I packed my briefcase and put on the best suit I had.  The thought of having the money to afford more expensive suits was the impetus I needed to succeed in this job interview.  I went into the city, walked into the office building with great fortitude and entered the conference room for my interview.  There I met Callan Kilroy.  The fact that he was the one hosting the interview gave me intimation that he was the manager.  When he first saw me, he greeted me with excitement.  He seemed very amicable.  Maybe even too amicable.  We introduced each other and shook hands.  However, when my hand touched his, I was surprised by a shock.  Callan laughed and showed me the shock button he had on his hand.  I tepidly laughed and sat down.

                “We’re happy to have you!” Callan exclaimed, “First, I would like to see the contents of your briefcase to see what you brought.”  I warily handed over my briefcase, and Callan began scrutinizing it.  By the grimace on his face, I was afraid something was wrong.

                “What’s with all this?!” Callan asked, pulling out a calculator and notebook paper.  “you don’t need this to work here!” he said, “You need this stuff!”  Callan then pulled out a rainbow wig, a horn and a red rubber nose.

                “What is this?!” I said angrily, “This isn’t and accountant job!  Never before have I been under such duplicity!”  I stormed out of the building while Mr. Kilroy watched in shock.

                “There goes my dream!” I said with disappointment and anger.  However, before I went in my car I realized that I went into the wrong building!  The accountant building was across the street! 

                “Uh-oh!  What company building did I go into then?”  I looked at a sign on the building and became incredibly embarrassed.  The sign said: “Callan’s Tricksters: Clown Catering.”


    Jessie B's Story 

                Interviews.  They are a breeze for some people, especially if the person is exceptionally amicable and adroit.  But I am averse to job interviews.  I have no fortitude, and any courage that I do have expires as soon as the interviewer asks for my name.  So, when I was fired from working at McDonald’s, the most feasible job in the world, I started looking for a new employment.  The next day, I was sitting in the office of the local Laundromat.  I was applying to work there as the assistant to the manger’s assistant.  What this job was supposed to accomplish was beyond me, but the pay was in dryer sheets and detergent, so it was all right.  The manger and the interviewer was the kind of man who scrutinized your every move.  It’s really intimidating!  He asked typical questions about past employments and education, but then he asked what my impetus was to work at this Laundromat.  I racked my brain for an acceptable answer until I remembered that my neighbor, Dana H., was a frequent visitor of this place but always complained about the lack of service.  I explained to the man this story when I saw him grimace.  His stolid expression changed into anger as he yelled, “DANA H?!  DO YOU KNOW OF HER DUPLICITY?!”

                I stammered that I did not, and he explained-

                “She came in here not too long ago.  She appeared sweet, but had an insidious plan to put a red sock with her whites.  I’m sorry, but anyone with an association to a laundry criminal will not be hired here.  Good day.”

                And with that, he swiveled around in his chair, leaving me to walk myself to the door, still confused about what had just transpired.


     Danielle X's Story

    Once there were two brothers who were looking for a job.  Their names were Bubba and Figaro.  They had a friend who said that he could help them get jobs.  His name was Agent Falcon, and he worked in the Secret Service.  So they went to visit him to apply for the job.  Falcon told them that he had set up a meeting for the job.  He told them, “She is very formidable so you will need to have fortitude.  Try to be amicable and don’t let anything bother you.” 

    Bubba asked, “Do you think it’s feasible for us to get the job?”

    Falcon responded, “Of course, you just need an impetus to help you.  If you guys get this, I’ll take you to get ice cream.”  With that, he pushed the two in front of a door.

    Little did Bubba and Figaro know that Falcon actually suspected the woman of duplicity against the kingdom.  She had been suspected of trying to assassinate the king.  However, with no knowledge of that information, Bubba and Figaro walked in.  As they sat down, she turned around in her rotating chair. 

    Figaro exclaimed, “Wow!  You look great!  When is the baby due?!”

    Unfortunately for Figaro, she was NOT pregnant.  As she said that, an awkward silence came upon them. 

    Bubba said, “Well, you know there’s this thing called Weight Watchers?  It’s a great program, I’ve seen it on TV…”

    She glared, “I’m with Jenny Craig, but it’s none of your business!”

    Figaro, trying to make the situation less awkward asked, “I am very skilled for this job.  I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue.”

    “And I can kill you in this room 4,782 ways without anybody knowing…” She replied as she scrutinized them.

    “Oh well, how about a funny story?” exclaimed Bubba. 

    Figaro started talking quickly.  “So once, Bubba and I were once practicing our shooting skills with paintball guns in the wood.  And when we were separated, Bubba accidentally shot me!  Isn’t that funny?”

    She seethed back, “Yeah well I once tried to assassinate the King and never got caught.  So I think my experiences are more exciting than yours.”

    With that, Falcon broke down the door and tasered her.  Afterwards, she was sent to prison.

    Bubba and Figaro were disappointed to learn that it was not a real job interview, but [they] were thrilled when Falcon decided they deserved jobs on his team for their help.  The mayor once again presented Falcon with a key to the city, then Falcon took the two out for ice cream.


    UNIT 1
    • Deploy:   He found himself an open washer and began to station his clothes inside angrily like a lieutenant deploys his soldiers. ~Emma N
    • Warily:  Warily, I pulled out the dryer sheets and the detergent from the very, very back of the bathroom cabinet in order to not knowck over the stack of toilet paper deployed in front of it. ~ Anisha J
    Eddie C:
    Deploy the troops at 12, 3, 6 and 9 o’clock around the Laundromat!” shouted the commander. The army is dealing with a tentative hostage situation. The robber in the guise of a normal college student was currently holding up the people inside the Laundromat. “We cannot have these kinds of people adulterating our good country’s name,” muttered the commander. After hours on the phone the robber warily came out with his hands up.
    Ghunley Z
    Today I went to a Laundromat to get my clothes washed. There was a police officer standing at the door with a gun in his hand. Tentatively, I entered the Laundromat. Suddenly, the man at the door yelled at the cashier and pointed the gun at him, he was actually a robber in the guise of a cop. Then somebody decided to deploy droids which took the robber into custody. Suddenly shooting broke out. I warily escaped through the back door. I later learned that the robber actually was a cop and his water supply had been adulterated with drugs. These drugs severely affected his judgment.
    Justin H
    There once was a boy, an insidious boy, who loved to prank people. Today he decided to adulterate a Laundromat. At first he was quite tentative about the idea but then he figured it could be fun. When night fell he warily walked into the Laundromat. He decided that the first part of his plan was to deploy soap scum all over the floor, so when people walked in the door they would slip and fall. He also decided to put pink dye into the washer so when people put their clothes in it would turn pink. When opening time came he sat on a bench outside and had to [disguise] his emotions so he looked stolid because he didn’t want to look suspicion. When people came he gibed at the internally and was almost sorry he couldn’t break a smile.
    Alex H
    There was a spy center in the guise of a Laundromat. Spies were deployed all over the world from here. They proceeded warily though for there was information that an enemy spy had snuck. He may have adulterated some reports. They made tentative plans to catch him, but will they?
    Matt W
    The weekend has finally arrived! I could not wait to relax with my friends on Saturday. When I went into my room to take a midday snooze after the busy week I found a monster. Upon further examination I found it was simply my endless pile of dirty clothes. In need of something to wear each day next week I decided to take my clothes to a Laundromat. After loading up my clothes into my car I set off. Upon arriving I took my clothes out of the trunk and warily entered the Laundromat because I really had no idea how to wash clothes. After tossing my clothes in the machine and putting in what I hoped would clean them I sat back on a chair and waited. Once the clothes were done I took them out to find that all my white shirts had been adulterated by the foulness that lies in that machine. Tentatively I decided to ask an employee if he could help the sorry souls that were my white shirts. The employee seeing the need for immediate action sprang forth deploying the other workers to my mess of a laundry. Although they fought valiantly the battle was lost and the upset employee informed me of the bad news. With pain in my heart I told the man that he did all that he could and I rewarded him with a tip. [Under the guise of happiness, I walked out] with the knowledge that next time I should just drop my clothes off at my mom’s house. ~Matt W
    Jack H
    My friends and I eyed the Laundromat. I was tentative even though my friends had already been deployed in the correct positions. The plan was simple. Get in take it and leave. Maybe it was adrenaline but I was completely unaware of the stupidity of my decisions that night. All I needed was that brand new under amour jacket that guy was washing. Well that and a good diversion. Frank’s voice blared at me through the walkie talkie. “What are you waiting for?” I warily approached the front door. Wearing my new Spiderman [disguise], I called for the diversion. “Go.” The car alarm went off right away. So far so good. “Oh no, not again.” Said the man. He went out to turn it off just as I walked in. I mean I was just as an 11 year old obsessed with Spiderman to him. I walked into the Laundromat. I grabbed the jacket and turned just as I heard from behind me, “Nice spiderman mask kid my son has one just like it.” I turned around to the worst possible person besides the man. Somebody who completely adulterated my whole scheme. The same person that would never get me the under armor jacket I was holding. It was my dad. How could I forget today was laundry day?  
    Ben C (10 vocab words!)
    It was a normal day at the laundromat.  The workers were deployed to their positions as they began work.  Then, the greatest tennis player of all time, Novak Djokovic, walked in, as he had to do some laundry.  Then, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, the worst player in the tennis history, came in.  He was extremely tentative when he saw Djokovic.  Then, very warily, Tsonga challenged Djokovic to a tennis match in the laundromat.  Djokovic's opulent forehand flew passed Tsonga with such momentum that Tsonga couldn't help but gape at it.  Tsonga double faulted every time he tried to serve.  Tsonga's gibes meant nothing as at match point, Djokovic served a 200 mph serve that went through Tsonga's racket.  Tsonga was left crying on the court as Djokovic walked out of the laundromat, destroying all fortitude Tsonga ever had.  Tsonga was once again bereft of another win and was forced to wear a [disguise] to cover up the shame left on his face.  The almight Djokovic once again adulterated Tsonga and his unkempt playing style.
    Callan K
    Callan warily entered the laundromat expecting a sneak attack from the Evil Laundry Ponies.  At first he was very tentative to go in because he had heard of attacks all over Nacirema involving people and evil ponies!  At first the ponies put on a facade or guise to lure you in.  Then they deploy the troops and arrange themselves to disable your fighting ability.  Callan was surely on his feet because from because from behind a washer attacked a sly-looking pony.  Callan was ready for he had had many years of Ninja training.  Whenever Callan would go on the attack the pony would [change his stance].  The fight was bereft of a winner for over thirty minutes!  Finally, the stolid groupies had to augment the efforts they gave.  Out of nowhere pops a second pony!  Luckily, the ambidextrous Callan was able to hold off the attacks from these insidious creatures.  Finally, the ponies just wanted to tell the dour Callan that his clothes were dry!  Callan started to gape because the whole time the ponies had just wanted to give him his fresh clothes!  The ponies said they had tried to tell him and even reiterated it multiple times.  The unkempt and very tired Callan walked outside with his clean clothes to go with him.  The ponies couldn't resist giving one final gibe.  They Said, "Next time you come you had better be [pleasant] or we won't serve you!" 
    Dana H
         I stepped into a laundromat, on what I thought was just a normal day, but really, I would have never throught of what was about to happen.  I went over to my normal machine, #3, but someone was using it, so I decided to use #4.  As I put my clothes in, I was unaware that there was a red sock underneath the pile of white dress shirts.  As I waited for my clothes to be done, I noticed a red tint through the glass of my washer.  I quickly ran to it, but it was too late.  The red had already adulterated my fresh whites.  All of the sudden, an extremely loud siren went off, and at first I thought there was a fire, but then noticed was saying, "CONTAMINATION!!"  Could they really be busting me for putting a red sock in my white clothes?  Yes.  I plucked the red sock out warily, and sprinted toward the door, but was too late.  A team of large men that seemed to be from some sort of agency deployed themselves around the outside of the laundromat.  I had no escape now.  The lead man said to me, "You're under arrest for contamination of white clothes." 
           I put on an innocent guise and pleaded, "I had no idea!"
          The man did not seem like he cared and I was grabbed by the arms and dragged into a police car.  I was tentative of what they were going to do to me.  I ended up at the police station having to pay a $10,500 fine for having a red sock in my whites.  My laundry day didn't go as I expected it to.