Notes of Interest
Some Words of Wisdom for All of Us....
Parenting/Teaching…from Ingrid Bacci, Ph.D.
Taking time for yourself and being able to relax and enjoy the moment is a key ingredient in being a more effective parent and or teacher. When we’re tense our kids pick up on it and reflect it back to us. Mindfulness/meditation practice can help us to keep in mind what is most important to us….by relaxing and laughing more….we develop an immune system that helps us to put diversity into perspective. It can change the whole tone and spirit of the household or classroom.
When things are challenging…it’s easier to be tense than it is to be relaxed…relaxation, which combines physical ease with alert focus, requires self-discipline. Learning how to consciously take ourselves to a calmer state helps us to become more proactive to our approach to difficult situations. It also conveys to our children a sense of safety and security upon which their emotional health depends. Our kids push our buttons all the time. When we are able to be aware of how we are breathing in the heat of the moment…we are more able to consciously choose our responses. Learning to relax at will, will also deepen our connection to our children. Notice any restrictions in your breathing and gently deepen and lengthen your breaths…with a feeling of letting go on the exhale…doing this brings our parasympathetic nervous system on line and enables us to be able access all that we know. When we get nervous…our sympathetic nervous system takes control …when it is in control, we have limited access to our executive functioning skills.
It can behoove all of us to pay attention to our bodies…noting where we feel any tension or tightness…bringing attention to those spots helps us to relax them and let go of the tension that we are carrying. Finding places of tension in our bodies and letting go of them regularly is an invaluable skill for our well-being. When we learn to relax…we model how to handle stress for our children.
A Poem For Parents....NO NEED FOR THREATSYou can control your childrenthrough threats and punishmentand they will learn to fear.You can control their behaviorby praise and rewardand they will learn to look outside themselvesfor approval and worthYou can watch over their every movement,every action, every decision,making sure they do it "right"and they will learn to alwaysdoubt themselvesOr you can love and guidewithout controlling or interferingand they will learn to trust themselves.If your child fails at somethingmerely express your confidencein their ability to handle the consequencesIf they behave irresponsibly,merely point out the consequences to themselvesand others.and again express your trust that they will learn.As soon as possible give them another opportunityto be appropriately responsible.Do not slip into the downward spiralof blame,shame,and control.It doesn't work...From: The Zen of Parenting
- Shift your focus: instead of thinking and worrying…pay attention to how you feel inside….make being at ease in your body a primary goal and trust that you can accomplish what you need to from that inner place.
- Become aware of your breathing. Take time every day to quietly observe the sensation of your breathing without trying to change it…Gradually you will notice yourself becoming calmer and your breaths becoming deeper and longer. Checking in regularly with your breath will calm your body and focus your mind…making you smarter and stronger!
- Work on releasing tension from your body. Try simple things throughout your day; drop your shoulders... relax your jaw…lighten your touch…muscle relaxation corresponds to a subjective feeling of softness…Imagine different parts of your body softening
- Regularly remind yourself that you are a better at whatever you are doing when you are calm…true peace comes from within...